Spring Fever Decoded

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Got a bad case of Spring Fever? Who doesn’t? Spring Fever, man’s uncontrollable itch for shorts and tees, baseball, summer ales, golfing, grilling and any activity associated with being outside, is spreading rapidly throughout the city. With the arrival of the new season of sunshine and the passing of winter drudgery, comes an overall increase in energy, excitement and sexual appetite. If you are experiencing this strange but wonderful illness, look out for symptoms which include restlessness, high-energy spurts, increased heart rates, daydreaming, a flushed face, loss of appetite, insomnia, and a yearning to break away or satisfy a blazing desire. While Spring Fever cannot be definitively diagnosed, it is undeniable that the change of season influences people’s moods. As the day lengthens and the sunshine brightens, more and more gentlemen are found pacing around their office space, distracted during meetings, and caught in love struck dazes with fleshy females in dresses, skirts and shorts- oh my! And if you think this feverish onset is limited to just males, oh how wrong you are. This past week, I found myself smiling and daydreaming for no particular reason as I was head bopping down the street (more than usual) to some overplayed radio pop song about a giddy crush. I continued to move, groove and smile in a complete daze for about three blocks until I realized people were starting to stare and proceeded to ask myself (thankfully not aloud) “what the hell am I doing and what am I smiling so much for?” I shrugged off my two-minute deep introspection and let the Spring Fever take over control. But it did get me thinking: what is the reason behind all this madness? And by madness, I mean wonderful feeling. The exact cause is still unclear; however, research shows that hormones are most likely the driving force behind all this daydreaming and restlessness. There are many stimulants that trigger people’s hormones in different ways and the following are just three that are associated with this so-called Spring Fever.

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1. Turn Up the Lights

Light is perhaps the most accepted and scientific cause of Spring Fever. The retina, the thin layer of cells at the back of the eyeball where light is converted into neural signals sent to the brain, reacts to increases in the amount of daylight. The info is monitored by the small part of the brain called the suprachiasmatic nucleus (SCN). Supra… Say what? Just think of the SCN as the human biological clock which controls the secretion of melatonin aka the sleep hormone. As winter transitions into spring and the daylight increases, the body produces less melatonin. This decrease is melatonin causes a lift in mood thus resulting in a reduced desire to sleep and an increased libido. So, light = lust. Listen to Rihanna and turn up the lights in here, baby.

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2. Work it Out

Sunshine typically increases the amount of exercise. Instead of lounging in the comfort of your couch wrapped up in a warm blanket flipping through Netflix and cursing the unpleasant wintry weather, the fresh spring breeze invites you to go outside and throw around a football, a Frisbee, a basketball… well you get the idea. The powerful combination of physical activity and healthy rays of Mister Golden Sun results in an immediate improvement in mood. You can attribute it to the increase in endorphin levels, vitamin D intake, or increased blood flow but simply put, exercise just does the body and mind good. After all, a healthy body means a healthy mind and vice versa.

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3. Oh, Women

The last causation of feverish behavior can be attributed to basic biology. As we are all well aware, men and women are as different as day and night but much of our fundamental differences can be traced to the brain. Dr. Louann Brizendine, author of “The Male Brain” explains that for men “looking at attractive female shapes and body parts is as natural as breathing.”  Sure, we woman can think what we want… that you are barbarians with no sense of respect for the fully functioning minds we have beyond our beautiful bods but at the end of the day, you men have been biologically selected from the beginning of all times to focus on fertile females to successfully procreate. Without you, the human race would not be in existence so thanks! Anyways, with the arrival of spring, the length of clothes lessens and the layers begin to shed. This means more skin, more visible curves and more male excitement than at the Superbowl. See the connection?

Spring has sprung and fevers are sure to follow. Ladies will flaunt their bare legs and buttocks in high-waist skirts and shorts and their tanned midriffs in those cropped tops that are all the rage. It’s only safe to assume that we females are increasing our exercise too with the sun beating on and bronzing our bodies. We sweat and do work out there just as much as you brawny dudes. We understand it’s in your biology to look but don’t gawk at us like we’re some kind of marinated New York Strip when we dress accordingly for the rising temperatures. Don’t use your increased libido as an excuse to treat as like spring fling floozies. Just because the seasons have changed doesn’t mean our standards have. Lewd behavior is intolerable year round- sunshine or not. And if you’re going to use your biology as an excuse to act like an ass, we ladies might just have to kick yours.