A Dad's Day Special: The Hairy Situation
Hair or no hair? That seems to be the big question. Fortunately for you, the answer is neither black nor white. Body hair marks manhood. It valiantly boasts the right of passage from boy to man through the trials and tribulations of puberty, adolescence, and finally, adulthood. With that being said, bare, in terms of body hair, is not always better. Well- groomed body hair, not to be confused with overly groomed, is best. But as with most appearance-related topics, the line between sexy and scary is quite thin. So before going on a rampage with the razor (put the Schick down Jerry Seinfield), consider these pointers for shaving success!
1. Facial— This is largely (if not solely dependent) on the man behind the beard or lack thereof. Some guys look good clean-shaven while others look even better sporting the facial scruff. In my opinion, beards and mustaches are harder to pull off unless you have a really great mustache like Tom Selleck or classy salt-and-pepper beard like George Clooney. Whichever your preference, stay away from stubble, sideburns, and the ever daunting unibrow.
2. Nose/Ear— Must you seriously ask? No. Absolutely not. Unless you’re nearing 80 and use a cane or walker to get around, there is simply no excuse for it’s unsightly presence.
3. Chest— Better to not fuss with it unless you’re working with a rug thick enough to hold lint. Going entirely bare in this area may be a turn on to some ladies (it’s better than gawking at a carpet made from Chewbacca) however to upkeep a bare chest requires a lot of personal time and effort. All on or all off. Stubble is never sexy or smooth, literally.
4. Back/Shoulder— Unacceptable without question. That is all. My advice: dare to Nair.
5. Happy Trail— It’s that line of hair from your pubic region to your navel. Do you even have to ask? In my opinion and the opinion of many of my girlfriends, leave it and love it! The trail is happy for a reason.
6. Armpit— Keep it trimmed to a reasonable length (if necessary). No one likes to see, discover or worse, smell an unkempt jungle under your arms. If not for purely aesthetic reasons, keep it tame to sweat less and therefore, smell better.
7. Legs/Arms— I highly recommend leaving your hair there as is or I may have to question your masculinity. Unless you actively participate in swimming or biking and are going hairless for purposes of increased speed during competitions, listen to Lennon and let it be.
8. Down Below— Neatly trimmed in manland is a safe bet especially if you’re trying to get it on.
The golden rule for all gentlemen to live by when it comes to body hair is to work with what you got; but work it well. If you were born a beast, tame by trimming. Completely hairless is completely unnatural. Instead, I advocate strategic shaving or tactfully trimming. Remember men— you are men. At the end of the day, even if you find yourselves stuck in rather hairy situations, you should look like, well, men. We females spend a great deal of time and money, not to mention personal effort and pain (despite what you think, a full Brazilian wax is NOT pleasant) to keep ourselves looking fresh and clean. Return the favor. Trust me; be attentive to your body hair so that we can, in turn, graciously be attentive to your body.